So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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