spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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