I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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