you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize