it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
