hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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