I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
