Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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