hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
