Me too!
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
