Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
