Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
