my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
