So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
