Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
