I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
