Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
