NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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