Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
the day after is always just damage control
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Randomize
