if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i came on her dog
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
