The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
be right there i have to get my cape
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
