I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
