If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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