I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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