I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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