I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
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