3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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