I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
