But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
