sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
