normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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