He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize