Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
