xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
