Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
