I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
