thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize
