No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
