me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
two words...techno handjob
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
