This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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