My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Randomize
