I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
