That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
