Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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