i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
