youre lurking in front of me
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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