I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
