i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
