Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
How does one acquire holy water?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
