you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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