we're blogging at a bar
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
