Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize