she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
