and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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