don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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