Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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