some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
