What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
