So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
