you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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