So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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