That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
how does that bad decision feel?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
